12 Month Update

Dear Lana,

Happy Birthday! Today you are a whole year old. It’s hard to believe that this time last year you and I were just getting acquainted, that I spent the morning with you in my belly, the afternoon with you trying to vacate my belly, and the evening holding you in my arms. If that much changed in the course of a day, you can imagine how much has changed in the course of a year.

Witnessing your development throughout your first year of life has been truly remarkable. You’ve gone from a colicky, inconsolable newborn to a happy, charming one-year-old. You’ve learned how to roll over, sit up, laugh, clap your hands, wave, roll your tongue, hold a cup, dance, and operate the television remote. I know some adults who haven’t mastered all those things.

Your twelfth month of life, in particular, has been filled with excitement and new discoveries. For starters, you are increasingly mobile. You are now crawling like an old pro, pulling up like a little monkey, and walking like baby Frankenstein. You had the audacity to make your first walk across the room (with the assistance of a push toy) while I was working and your Granny T was watching you. She wisely chose to withhold this information from me, in hopes that I would discover you doing it and assume I was the first to see. The second time you did it was with your father while I was once again out of the room. After he put you to bed for the night he strolled upstairs and nonchalantly asked if I had seen you walk yet. As if the woman who keeps him informed of your quality and quantity of bowel movements would simply forget to mention a little thing like walking. You finally had the decency to show me your walk the following morning, and I’ve since learned to accept that I might not always be the first one to see your major milestones – even though I totally deserve that honor. You were almost 10lbs at birth, remember?

In the past month you’ve also become increasingly fascinated with the things and the people in your world, and eager to point them out to us. You’ve gotten into the habit of greeting your father when he comes home from work with a perfunctory wave followed by a pointing tour of the major attractions in the room you are currently occupying. One day he arrived home early and caught you by surprise. You gave him a quick wave and then frantically looked around the room in search of something, anything, to point to. “Oh, no! Dad’s home and I’ve got nothing! Let’s see… the plant – no I did that yesterday! Where are the balloons? Someone moved the balloons!! They were up there and NOW THEY ARE GONE!! Wait, what’s that up there? Yes, it’s the ceiling fan! Quick, point at that! Whew, good save.”

When I think back on the past year and the changes it has brought, I can’t decide whether it flew or crawled by. I can’t believe that you are already turning one, but I also struggle to remember a time before you were in my life. If the past year has taught me anything, it’s that motherhood is full of those contradictions. That I can simultaneously wish to spend every waking moment with you and also long for a break from mommy duties. That I can dream about what you will be like as a toddler, a teenager, an adult, but also yearn to keep you my baby forever. That I can be profoundly unable to describe my love for you, but completely determined to keep trying.

I could not possibly love you more or be more proud of you, my beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, one-year-old girl. Thank you for giving me the most amazing year of my life.

Love,
Mom



(Photos in this post courtesy of Sabrina Sexton).