A Doozie of a Twosie

Yes, I am writing about my baby’s poop again. It turns out that pooping is something newborns do best, and Lana does it with particular flair. She prefers not to poop while wearing her diaper, which means she is smart and sanitary enough to choose not to stew in her own excrement. This preference does, however, create a logistical problem for a baby that wears a diaper almost every minute of the day.

To get around this, Lana has settled into a complex and amazingly consistent pooping routine. She begins with a small decoy poop that is just stinky enough to get our attention and compel us to take her to the changing table. Once the diaper is off, the real action begins. I will show some restraint and not provide too many details about the pooping that happens when the diaper comes off, but it is distressing enough that I must hold Lana’s hand so she can make it through it. My reassurances make her feel better, though, and she shows her appreciation by treating me to one last chaser poop.

While dealing with this daily poop extravaganza, I often recall a parenting magazine article with tips for raising baby on a budget. One mom recommended cutting baby wipes in half to save money. I can only imagine how horrified this thrifty woman would be if she saw me using six to eight wipes to clean up one round of pooping. I too am a fan of saving money, but I view an extra $50 a year to keep baby poop off my hands as money well spent.