Boob Tube
I watch way too much daytime television. It’s not that I don’t have more pressing things to do, like eating, bathing, or using the restroom. It’s just that watching TV is one of the few things I can do while feeding or holding Lana, which is what I do for most of the day.
Here’s what I have discovered in my many hours of daytime television consumption:
1. After 8:00 am, The Today Show morphs from a somewhat respectable news show to a big bowl of crazy, seasoned with ridiculous cooking segments in which every single member of the show simultaneously prepares the same dish and Anne Curry in a Halloween costume that makes me feel icky.
2. The endless marathon of baby shows on TLC is much less scary after actually giving birth to my own child. I avoided episodes of A Baby Story while I was pregnant, but now I actually enjoy watching the women who pledge to have a “natural” birth beg and cry for an epidural once the contractions begin. In my favorite episode so far, a feisty lawyer (who sensibly planned to have an epidural) explained that her pregnancy tastes required all the food on her plate to be strictly separated. “I don’t like my rice fraternizing with my beans,” she said. Man, do I know what she means. I can think of little worse than the unholy union of pickles and my Chick-fil-a sandwich.
3. There are some very strange video games being marketed to daytime television viewers. Nintendogs, for example, allows you to train your very own puppy during your “nothing” time. Having trained a puppy before, I can safely say that I have no interest in reliving the experience of cleaning pee and poop out of my carpet in video game form. Perhaps The Desperate Housewives PC game will be more to my liking. I’m not sure exactly what the game includes, but the commercial shows a unique mix of digital gardening and slapping.
4. There are A LOT of people out there in need of a makeover, and even more makeover shows ready to liberate them from their acid-washed jeans and holiday-themed sweaters. I watch these shows and remind myself that having a crying baby in need of a soothing car ride is no excuse for going through the Chick-fil-a drive through in my pajamas and retainer. And if I have done that in the past, I should never publicly admit to it.
Here’s what I have discovered in my many hours of daytime television consumption:
1. After 8:00 am, The Today Show morphs from a somewhat respectable news show to a big bowl of crazy, seasoned with ridiculous cooking segments in which every single member of the show simultaneously prepares the same dish and Anne Curry in a Halloween costume that makes me feel icky.
2. The endless marathon of baby shows on TLC is much less scary after actually giving birth to my own child. I avoided episodes of A Baby Story while I was pregnant, but now I actually enjoy watching the women who pledge to have a “natural” birth beg and cry for an epidural once the contractions begin. In my favorite episode so far, a feisty lawyer (who sensibly planned to have an epidural) explained that her pregnancy tastes required all the food on her plate to be strictly separated. “I don’t like my rice fraternizing with my beans,” she said. Man, do I know what she means. I can think of little worse than the unholy union of pickles and my Chick-fil-a sandwich.
3. There are some very strange video games being marketed to daytime television viewers. Nintendogs, for example, allows you to train your very own puppy during your “nothing” time. Having trained a puppy before, I can safely say that I have no interest in reliving the experience of cleaning pee and poop out of my carpet in video game form. Perhaps The Desperate Housewives PC game will be more to my liking. I’m not sure exactly what the game includes, but the commercial shows a unique mix of digital gardening and slapping.
4. There are A LOT of people out there in need of a makeover, and even more makeover shows ready to liberate them from their acid-washed jeans and holiday-themed sweaters. I watch these shows and remind myself that having a crying baby in need of a soothing car ride is no excuse for going through the Chick-fil-a drive through in my pajamas and retainer. And if I have done that in the past, I should never publicly admit to it.
posted by Guest at Sunday, November 12, 2006
1 Comments:
Yes, TiVo is all that keeps me sane! Unfortunately, I'm burning through my recorded shows too quickly. Any recommendations on new shows? Here's what I already have on my season pass:
Scrubs, House, Bones, The Office, My Name is Earl, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Top Chef (Lana's favorite).
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