Two Month Update

Dear Lana,

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’ve made tremendous advancements in the past month, particularly in the area of rage moderation. We have gone several weeks without any major meltdowns and you now resort to screaming only when you are hungry, have poopy pants, wish to be held, become bored, or are woken up before you are ready. That may sound like a lot, but it is a major improvement over shrieking for no reason other than air is touching your skin.

You are now sleeping through the night on a regular basis, and for that I have to thank the makers of the Miracle Blanket. It is a swaddling blanket on steroids, and its name is no exaggeration. Anything capable of restraining your arms for more than five minutes and helping you sleep peacefully for more than five hours deserves miracle status. Instead of dreading the evenings, I now enjoy our bedtime ritual of bathing you, smearing lotion on you, swaddling you, and marching you from one end of the house to the other until you drift off to sleep. I get tremendous satisfaction from watching your eyes get heavy and your face relax as you lie in my arms, even if I am totally jealous of the long, beautiful eyelashes that have appeared on your face in the past month.

Other month two developments include smiling, squealing, and valiant attempts at laughing. Your primary sources of amusement are your crib mobile, the surfboard above your changing table, the candles on our mantle, your Mom and Dad, your grandparents, the television, and the sofa. It’s a little depressing that inanimate objects elicit the most positive response from you, but at least your father and I rank above the couch.

One other benefit of your improved attitude over the past month is that I am now brave enough to take you out in public. I am delighted to show you off and I expect everyone we encounter to admire and comment on your cuteness. You tend to naturally attract a lot of attention (that head of hair is hard to ignore), but on one occasion our waitress barely gave you a second glance. I found her lack of attentiveness toward you more upsetting than if she had spit in my waffle fries. How could she ignore my beautiful baby? Did she not see that glorious mane, those perfect little lips? DID SHE HAVE NO HEART?!

Happy two month birthday, Lana. Try not to get any cuter or your mom may start getting into fights with random waitresses.

Love,
Mom

Family Portrait

My cousin’s four-year-old daughter is a budding artist. She loves to draw portraits of people she knows, and John’s spiky hair makes him a favorite subject.

Below is her latest drawing of our family, complete now with Lana in my arms. I am, however, most impressed by the portrayal of John. This is sweet revenge for the picture she drew while I was pregnant in which I was three times the size of John and had a midsection like a small house.

Birthday Boys

Both John and his father celebrated milestone birthdays last week. I won’t embarrass them by discussing their ages, but I will say that neither of them turned 20, 40, 50, or 70. Oh, and astute readers may be able to figure out John’s age by examining the picture that accompanies this post. That’s all I’m saying.


We had a very nice get together with all the grandparents and John’s brother to celebrate the birthdays. Lana was, of course, the centerpiece of the party. Even Uncle Kyle got into the action by holding her, but when she began to cry in his arms he got a look on his face like he was holding a live grenade. And that’s just silly because she is actually much more like a dirty bomb.

Happy Days

What a difference a week makes! Lana has woken up to the world and discovered that it’s not such a miserable place after all. She is alert, inquisitive, and far more content than ever before. She will now spend time lying in her crib and staring up at her mobile while making a whole new series of cooing sounds. She is beginning to smile and laugh, particularly when her father and I perform M.C. Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This” while dressing her in bottoms so big they look like parachute pants. It’s good that she laughs now, since it will mortify her when she’s a teenager and we perform 80’s songs in front of her friends (and we totally will).

Lana has also given us the greatest gift that any newborn can give her parents – for three nights in a row now she has slept for close to six continuous hours. Maybe it’s the new Miracle Blanket that is the equivalent of a baby strait-jacket or the cereal that we are spiking her bottles with (per doctor’s orders, of course). Or, maybe she’s decided that we’ve had enough new-parent hazing and she’s finally giving us a break.

Supergranny

Becoming a mom is without a doubt the scariest and most challenging endeavor I’ve ever undertaken, and I can’t imagine doing it without the help of my own mother. She was by my side when I combed the stores for non-revolting maternity wear, holding my hand in the delivery room, and waiting at our house with a hot meal and helping hands when we brought Lana home from the hospital. With her support, I retained my sanity when John returned to work and even managed to get some time to myself over the past few weeks for catching up on sleep and getting back on the tennis court.

Rico has long recognized my mom as the world’s greatest grandmother, and I can already tell how much Lana adores her by the way she watches her with rapt attention and listens closely as she recites nursery rhymes. In fact, Lana’s first non-poop related smile took place in the lap of her Granny.

I always cherished the time I spent with my own grandmother, Granny Dot, who passed away during my freshman year in college. She was feisty, selfless, patient, and incredibly fun to be around, and I see so much of her in my mom. Lana is a very lucky girl indeed.

Happy Birthday, Granny T.

Poop Dispenser

The baby books I read really didn’t do enough to prepare me for the poops of my newborn baby. Sure, they told me to keep a record of my child’s bowel movements and even provided some guidance as to the characteristics of the poop. After changing Lana’s diapers for the past five weeks, I think a checklist like the following is actually in order:

• Poop is yellow and watery. Check.



• Poop has noticeable odor. Check.



• Poop has tendency to seep out of diapers and onto clothes of baby and caregivers. Check.



• Poop can be shot out of baby’s bottom during a diaper change like a garden fountain and land more than two feet away from the changing table while mom stands by screaming. CHECK.