Two Month Update

Dear Samantha,

Two months old already -- where does the time go? It’s amazing to me that, despite the fact I’m up almost round the clock, the days and weeks are flying by. I spend a lot of time awake at 2am or 4am or sometimes both because you still insist on eating every three hours or so, and only occasionally reward me with a stretch of sleep longer than four hours at night. The old tricks that helped Lana sleep so well so soon seem to have little impact on you. We spike your bottle with rice cereal -- you wolf it down and demand more a few hours later. We swaddle you in a Miracle Blanket -- you grunt and groan until we free you and give you back your much beloved thumbs. You remain a lovely, pleasant, easy to get along with baby and settle down the second a bottle is inserted in your mouth, so I don’t dread the nights the way I did when Lana would scream until my ears bled. But sweet will only get you so far, kid. Mama needs to sleep.

The lack of sleep has, however, become easier to handle due to the emergence of your heart-melting, dimpled smile. I knew from past experience that the time would come when I would reach down to pick you up and you would grace me with a smile that says, “Hey, you’re that woman that pumps milk for me, stays up at night with me, and cleans poop off me. I think I like you.” Sure enough, that moment came at 4am on December 9th and it was even better than I remembered. It sure as hell made the 4am wake up call easier to swallow.

Since then you’ve smiled and cooed and made me yearn for more free time to spend gazing into your sweet, round face. I have no small amount of guilt about the additional demands on my time (most notably your sister) that prevent me from holding you as much as I would like. Fortunately, you demand very little and you have an amazing set of grandparents to help give you the extra attention you deserve. Please know that although I may not always have you in my arms, you are always in my heart.

Love,
Mama