Saturday, December 29, 2007

16 Month Update

Dear Lana,

You turn 16 months old today, just days after celebrating your second Christmas. You thoroughly enjoyed the preparations leading up to Christmas this year, including the decorations around the house and in our neighborhood. I am still amazed that you left our Christmas tree and the presents beneath it intact. That tree must have looked like a shiny beacon of toddler temptation standing in the corner of our living room, but after we told you not to remove the ornaments you actually listened to us. You were even kind enough to pass along our instructions to holiday visitors – walking over to the tree, tapping on an ornament or two, and then giving a pointed look and a stern “No, No!”

As much as you enjoyed our holiday décor, it didn’t hold a candle to the large, inflatable snowman in our neighbor’s yard across the street. I spent a good portion of the month chasing you down the driveway as you went to visit the snowman – to talk to him, admire him, ask for his sage advice. In an attempt to keep you out of the neighbor’s yard we purchased our own snow family and slapped them down on the front lawn. Alas, they were no substitute for the original snowman, and the chase across the street continued.

Christmas day proved to be a lot of fun, although you showed only a passing interest in opening presents. After watching Rico tear into his package, you obliged us by opening a gift or two. You took a look at the shoes and the stacking blocks we lovingly selected for you and gave a disinterested, “Meh” before shuffling off to retrieve a favorite book. It wasn’t until we came upon a present filled with new books that we managed to draw your attention back to us. Your face lit up in a “Now that’s more like it!” expression and we spent the remainder of the morning reading dog-themed books like What Do You Say, I’ll Teach My Dog 100 Words, and the aptly named title, Dog.

The gift-opening ritual was repeated twice more on Christmas day at the homes of your grandparents, where you delighted all with warm Christmas hugs (including my parent’s dog, Josie, pictured at right). You received a lot of loot from the grandparents, of course. Your immediate favorites were a book (surprise!) of baby words, a toothbrush, and a Dora the Explorer phone that addresses you personally: “HOLA, LANA!!!”

Your enthusiasm for oral hygiene makes you a proud part of the Mayes family tradition, from your never-had-a-cavity Dad to your stocking-full-of-dental-floss Grandma. When I began brushing my teeth the morning after Christmas, you came barreling into the bathroom yelling “Teeth, teeth, TEETH!” I was so surprised to hear you saying a completely new word that it took me a minute to realize you were asking for your new Elmo toothbrush.

There have been a lot of episodes like that in the past month, where you shock me by transitioning from baby gibberish to perfectly formed and applied words. Your vocabulary now includes the words Dog, Teeth, Hey, Bye, Shoes, Juice, Mom, Dad, Baby, Bad (you hear that in reference to the dog, not you), No (said frequently to both the dog and you), Man (as in snowman), and Stack. Note that I’m only counting your “real” words – words that are clear and discernable even to strangers. I’ve noticed that a lot of parents have a tendency to label every consonant or fuzzy utterance as a word and then brag about how their babies are speaking in complete sentences. Not that I’m any stranger to bragging, but I’m not bold enough to try and pass off the string of gibberish that comes out of your mouth after you poot and laugh about it as a meaningful dialogue on the wonders of the digestive process.

All in all, it was another wonderful month and a Christmas made extra special by observing it through your eyes. Thanks for keeping us in the holiday spirit all month long. And also, good call on the Wal-Mart Santa. That guy was totally creepy.

Love,

Mom

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Mighty Good Man

On Tuesday Lana developed a fever that alternated between 100 and 103 degrees. While I tore through my copy of Your Child’s Health * and debated packing a bag for the hospital, John calmly sat with Lana and fulfilled her request for repeated readings of The Tooth Book**.

Lana was still feverish the next morning, so we called the doctor and received instructions to increase her dosage of Tylenol and monitor her temperature. I had a day jam-packed with meetings, so John agreed to stay home and nurse our baby girl back to health. In between caring for Lana and working on our back-log of laundry, John brought this up to my office:


Dr. Pepper and Kraft Mac and Cheese, delivered by a loving husband and rock-star father. I am indeed a lucky lady.


* Highly recommended book for parents
** Not recommended, unless you want to feel like pulling out your own teeth.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Reasons I’m Running Low on TUMS

  1. Lana came down with a cold last week, her very first illness. While we felt very fortunate to have made it 15 months without more than a runny nose, we also felt totally unprepared for the snotty, congested, cranky toddler that we found ourselves living with. Fortunately she is mostly recovered now and I’ve decided not to update the Rage Level Alert.


  2. The Christmas lights, not content with just pissing me off, have moved on to trying to poison my baby with lead.


  3. The vaccination Lana received two weeks ago may have been contaminated with bacteria.


  4. At least 17% of the toys we already own or might purchase for Christmas are covered in lead.


  5. Our kids are living in a stew of chemicals and environmental toxins.


  6. The woman on the tums.com site, which I visited to check if TUMS should be in all caps (it should), won’t shut up about “taking my order.” I’ll take two smooth-dissolve TUMS and a new site design, thanks.

Now I’m off to buy a big plastic bubble.

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